Just Breathe
by kt2785
Summary: Sawyer is feeling guilty about Shannon having an asthma attack...then he can't seem to stay away from her. My first true Shawyer...please R & R!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is dedicated to JateSkateFate815...it takes place starting in the 1st season. Shannon is having an asthma attack and everyone thinks that Sawyer has the inhalers.**

Sawyer was laying in his tent thinking about the events of the day. He was tortured by the damn Arab who was in the republican gaurd...and the hero. He really didn't think that Jack had it in him, but he was wrong. He had kissed Kate which was the only good part about the entire day. He just yelled at her to leave the tent. Jack was at the caves checking on Shannon. He forced himself to stand and made his way into the jungle. He was just going to see if Shannon was ok. If Shannon wasn't ok he would blame himself. If he told them from the beginning that he didn't have the inhalers they could have figured something else out.

When he got there Shannon was sitting up. She looked like she was breathing ok, but she looked like hell. No one was around. Sawyer walked toward her and sat down.

"Hey Barbie," he sighed.

"What the hell do you want?" she scoffed. She coughed slightly from not taking a deep enough breath.

"I-" he started. "Look...I didn't mean for this to happen. I just-"

"Why the hell did you tell Boone that you had my inhalers?" she asked.

"I didn't," he argued.

He hadn't actually said the words. Boone just assumed...Sawyer just didn't tell him otherwise. And even if he had told them that he didn't have them they probably wouldn't have believed him...case in point the damn iraqi...he stabbed him in the arm because he didn't believe him.

"What happened to your arm?" she mumbled.

"When I told Kate that I didn't have your inhalers, Mohammed didn't exactly believe me...so I guess it wouldn't have mattered if I said I didn't have them from the beginning," he responded. "I just wanted to make sure that you were ok so now that I have..."

"Get the hell away from her!" Boone yelled. He lunged at him and took him by the throat.

"Boone stop it!" Shannon managed to yell. "Stop. Get off of him."

"Shannon, it's his fault that you almost died," Boone argued.

"No it's not," she breathed deeply and sat back down. She started breathing heavier.

"I shouldn't-" Sawyer sighed. "I'm glad you're ok blondie. See ya around."

Sawyer got up and glared at Boone. Boone glared just as coldly, and didn't stop glaring till Sawyer disappeared through the trees.

"Jackass," Boone replied.

"He was seeing if I was ok," Shannon said. "I really don't think he meant for any of this to happen."

"Yeah, just like he didn't mean to beat the hell out of me," Boone scoffed. "Why the hell are you sticking up for him? You almost died Shan."

"Everyone makes mistakes Boone," she reminded him.

"Whatever Shannon," he shook his head. "Why don't you go see if I hurt his feelings?"

She looked at him and chuckled. She stood up and followed after Sawyer. Boone watched her leave. He was pissed, but he'd let Shannon go and have her dumb fun. Maybe she could get him to give her something from his stash.

Shannon walked in the path that Sawyer took. She walked briskly and was able to catch up to him before they got to the beach.

"Sawyer wait," she breathed.

"Oh jeez," he sighed. "You're not gonna have another breathing attack on me are you?"

"No," she chuckled. "I just have to catch my breath. Don't listen to Boone. He's jealous. If I give any guy attention he flips out."

"That's a little weird," he told her. "I think your brother is a little sick."

"Well...I have a little secret. He's not really my brother," she whispered.

"I knew it!" he exclaimed. "There was way too much sexual tension between you two. But why wouldn't you just tell people that he was your boyfriend."

"Ugh," she started. "No. He's not my boyfriend, but he's not my brother either...he's my step brother."

"That's still sick," he chuckled. "But I guess I won't say nothin' if you don't want me to."

"I'd appreciate it," she nodded. "So...uh...Jack tells me that Kate sacrificed a kiss so that you'd tell her where my medicine was."

"Kate gave me that kiss, ready and willing," Sawyer said with a smile and his eyebrows raised.

"So you asked her for a kiss?" Shannon asked. "And you didn't even have my inhalers?"

"Nope," he shook his head. "But I mean come on...can you blame me? I had just gotten tortured by Jack-o and Mohammed."

"Well," she began. "I guess asking for a kiss isn't that big of a deal. Was it hot?"

She leaned toward him and he smirked widely.

"Define hot," he replied.

"Was it just a kiss?" she whispered, leaning even closer. "Or was it first base?"

"Do you want me to show you?" he asked, intruiged by her behavior.

"No thanks," she said perkily. "See you around hillbilly."

She stood up and walked away from him. He looked after her in with a small smirk, and couldn't help himself, but check her out as she walked with a small swagger to her step.

**A/N: Ok...so this is my first real attempt at a Shawyer. I know it was a little OOC, but I tried. I hope you review**.


	2. Chapter 2

**JateSkateFate815-I'm glad you like it. I'm gonna try to make it good. )  
Warriorprincess922-It's all good. OOC, means Out Of Character. I'm glad that you loved my story. Welcome to Fanfic!  
SassyLostie-Thanks for the review. I've only ever been good at doing Skate fics, so this is new for me...I hope it continues to be good.  
The Other-Yeah it's definitely random. I just thought it would be interesting to try something different**. 

Shannon was heading to the golf course with Boone. They walked past Sawyer's tent. She knew that Boone was still pissed at him. He scoffed loudly. Sawyer was sleeping, and he looked content, almost cute. He was a complete jerk, but Shannon had that attraction to guys that are jerks. She always seemed to like the men that could hurt her the most.

Shannon thought there was nothing more boring than watching everyone play golf, but it was the only thing left to do. The beach was boring...she had burned her back from the lack of sunscreen. She supposed that Sawyer probably had all the sunscreen, but she didn't want to owe him anything.

Sure enough when Sawyer arrived at the golf course he offered sunscreen and a flashlight. He didn't think that Jack would make the shot. Kate said "I'll take that action." before Shannon could make a flirty remark. She was almost jealous of the attention that Kate got from Sawyer and Jack. Jack made the shot...so Sawyer said he'd bring Shannon and Boone a bottle of sunscreen, but that Kate would get the other bottle and the flashlight.

Boone had gone off in the jungle with Locke. Shannon was waiting for Sawyer to bring her the sunscreen. She was sitting in the shade trying to keep the sun off her face.

"Hey Barbie," Sawyer said appearing at the door.

"Hi," she replied with a smile.

"Just thought I'd bring you your sunscreen," he told her.

"Thanks," she said. She patted the sand next to her and he sat down. He looked out at the water and shook his head.

"What a mess huh?" he asked.

"Yep," she sighed. "I really thought the rescue boats would have found us by now."

"Blondie," he scoffed. "We were over 1,000 miles off course. They have no clue where to find us."

"Even if we were off course," she shook her head. "You would have thought that they could find us anyway. I just wanna go home."

She looked like she was about to cry. He didn't really know how to deal with a crying woman...that's why he never stuck around after the cons. He hated watching her cry when he knew there was nothing that he could do to help anything.

"We all wanna go home," he mumbled. "Do you think any of us wanna be here on this damn island?"

"I guess not," she whispered. "I'm just-I should be dead."

"We all should be," he replied.

"No," she argued. "I was supposed to be in first class. I would have been...but the stupid guy wouldn't give us our tickets. We got our reservations screwed up and we had to go in coach. I should be dead."

She turned toward him and rested her head on his shoulder. He really wasn't sure how to react. He put a nervous hand on her back and patted it awkwardly.

"You sure your brother isn't gonna mind me sittin' in here with you?" he asked.

"I really don't care what he thinks," she answered.

"Well, I don't really want to have the crap beat out of me today," he replied.

"Boone isn't gonna be able to beat you up," she chuckled. "You could totally take him."

"Yeah," he nodded. "I probably could...but then he'll just say I started it and then the doc and the Iraqi will have an excuse to torture me again."

"Sayid left," she told him. "Didn't you know? He left because he felt guilty about what he did to you."

"Good," he scoffed. "As Kate reminded me I could have died...and it would have been his fault."

"Well maybe if you had just been honest in the first place," she scoffed. "I mean come on...if you had said 'I don't know what the hell you're talkin' about'...when Boone asked you in the first place-"

"He didn't ask me," Sawyer interrupted. "He just assumed because he saw me with his damn book. He ransacked my stash...and then he lunged at me. He started it."

"What are you 5?" she asked. "He started it? You could have told him that you didn't have the meds and then offered him to look through your stash...he would have had no choice but to believe you."

"Ah, but then I wouldn't have gotten that kiss from Kate," he reminded her.

"So," Shannon smiled. "You really have the hots for her don't you?"

"She's alright," he shrugged.

"Oh come on," she shook her head. "Kate is the hottest girl here."

"Nah," he answered.

"Sawyer," she started. "Kate is hot, and she's smart, and she's...I mean come on...even Boone thinks she's hot."

"I think Boone has too much of the incest thing goin' on," Sawyer responded.

"It's not incest. It's not that gross," she argued.

"Ok then," he began. "Prove it...when did your parents get married?"

"I was 8, he was 10," she sighed.

"So you grew up with each other?" he asked. "You basically grew up being brother and sister?"

"But it was different," she answered. "I mean he always had the hots for me...even when we were younger. He was a horny teenager."

"10 years old isn't exactly a teenager," he told her.

"Ok...fine. He's a sick, sick man," she finally gave in and smiled.

"I'll see you around," Sawyer said. "Let you bake in the sun...now you got your sunscreen so you won't look like a lobster."

"Is that all you think I'm good for?" she asked. "Sitting in the sun?"

"Well," he began. "You haven't really done much else...but it's all good. You can sunbathe naked...give something for the men to look at...and I'm sure your brother would love to see what you have to offer."

"Shut up," she said, and this time she was pissed. She stood up, taking the sunscreen and walking down the beach by herself.

**A/N: Please Review!!!!**


	3. Chapter 3

Sawyer was reading his book at the airplane seats. Shannon was pissed at him for thinking that he could talk to her the way he did...but part of her liked it. She walked toward him not being able to help herself. She sat down next to him and sighed. 

"I'm bored," she told him.

"Hmm," he mumbled. "Sounds like a personal problem to me, Sticks."

"Sticks?" she asked.

"Those long legs of yours," he said looking down her legs.

"God you are such a pervert!" she stated smacking his shoulder.

"Oh you love it, or you wouldn't keep comin' back for more," he smirked. "Now Kate's got the right idea...she stays away from me...but that actually only makes me try harder."

"Ok," she sighed. "Can't you just admit that you want her? I mean it would be so much easier for everyone involved."

"Well if it'll make things easier," he shrugged. "Alright...but I got my pick of any lady here. I could have you, Kate...I bet I could even get Sunny."

"She doesn't even speak english," Shannon argued.

"Yeah," he nodded. "That'll make it even easier. Women just can't resist me...what can I say...these dimples do it in every time."

Sawyer smiled widely so that his dimples showed. Shannon couldn't help but smile back. He definitely had a contagious smile. She shook her head and continued to smile.

"You do have quite a smile hillbilly," she stated.

"So changing the subject," he began. "What's goin' on with you? Where's your boyfriend?"

"God he's not my boyfriend," she sighed. "Can't you just call him Boone or Metro, or any other nickname."

"Boy," he smiled. "Looks like your protesting a little too much baby."

"Don't call me baby," she warned.

"Where's Metro?" he asked.

"He's with that weird Locke guy," she answered. "They've been gone every day for the past week."

"Yeah," he nodded. "Hunting boar isn't it...why is it that they haven't brought any boar back?"

"I dunno," she shrugged. "He said something about how they haven't been finding many. The boar has migrated or something."

"So what's the point of them spending the days in the jungle?" he asked. "They're gonna get killed."

"Why do you care about where they are anyway?"

"Becasue I need to know how long I get with you before your brother comes and has a freak attack."

"You want to spend time with me?" she asked.

"Yeah," he answered. "Why not?"

"Because I'm the island idiot," she said. "I'm worthless. I can't do anything."

"You translated that french chick's message," he reminded her.

"And as I recall you didn't believe me," she scoffed. "You thought that I couldn't really understand it."

"Only because you said you didn't know french," he answered. "But I believe you now. And the other thing you're good for is keepin' me happy with those skimpy little outfits."

"Why can't you be serious for 5 minutes?" she asked. "I mean come on...I'm trying to tell you how I feel and all you can do is talk about my appearance."

"That's all you seem to be worried about," he shrugged.

"Nevermind...I thought maybe you could understand but I guess not," she sighed. She stood up and started leaving. He watched her leave and sighed to himself.

**3 Hours Later**

Sawyer saw her walking down the beach. He stood up and walked toward her. She started walking quicker to get away from him. He in turn walked quicker too and was able to catch up to her.

"You run fast for a girl," he breathed as they kept walking at a brisk pace. He got ahead of her and stopped in front of her.

"Where are you goin'?" he asked.

"What do you care?" she questioned. "Why are you even following me?"

"You looked lonely," he answered. "What's going on? What's the matter?"

"I can't keep away from you," she whispered. "I don't know why. I keep coming back here."

"You like me," he smirked. "You really like me."

"Shut up," she scoffed, but she was smiling. "You are such a jerk, but then you smile and-"

Shannon lifted herself up on her tiptoes and kissed him gently. He kissed her back and smiled down at her.

They spent the rest of the day together. Shannon spread herself out on a blanket and let her self bask in the sun. Sawyer helped put some sunscreen on her back and then sat back with his book.

That night when Sawyer was sleeping he woke up to movement in his tent. He shined the light on the boar and chased after him. Then the next morning as Kate made fun of him, Shannon looked on. They were flirting with each other. Sawyer made his way into the jungle. He hadn't even told Shannon that he was leaving. She would have followed him, but she wasn't in the mood to get lost in the jungle. She was afriad of the monster. She sat on the beach and waited for him to return.

When Sawyer bumped into Kate he realized how right Shannon had been. As they played I Never and slept on the jungle floor together Sawyer realized how much he wished Kate could like him...but he knew that he was never going to compete with Jack.

As they walked back home the next day Sawyer had one thought on his mind. Go talk to Shannon. He found the beach and walked toward Shannon's shelter. Shannon was sitting outside of it staring into the ocean.

"Hey," he smiled down at her.

"Hi," she said, not smiling.

"Are you pissed?" he asked.

"No," she sighed. "But you just spent the whole night in the jungle with Kate. I just don't want to be sloppy seconds."

"Me and Kate didn't do nothin'," he scoffed.

"Yeah right," she shook her head. "Kate is completely drawn to you. She may have the hots for Jack, but she can't keep away from you."

"Well I wanted to spend the day with you," he told her, sitting down next to her. "I don't want to spend the day with Kate. She's off with the doc now. And I wished that you would have come with me anyway."

"You really wanted me coming with you to help you track a boar?" she asked. "I'm not good at tracking. I never would have been able to go with you."

"I can't track worth a damn either," he chuckled. "That's the only reason that Kate came after me...she wanted to make sure I didn't get my self killed."

Shannon knew how ridiculous she was being. She stared at him and shook her head.

"Well I'm glad she kept you alive," she answered.

That night Shannon was in her tent, Sawyer was in his. Boone still wasn't back from the jungle...it was late. She hadn't slept in someone's arms since she was in Austrailia. She missed the feel of a man's arms around her. She missed the feel of her cheek pressed against someone's chest. She sighed to herself and stood up. She sighed to herself and got up. She walked down the beach toward Sawyer's tent. She stepped into his tent and looked down at him. He wasn't sleeping, but his eyes were closed and he was trying to go to sleep. She fell to her knees next to him. He opened his eyes and looked at her.

"What are you doin'?" he asked. She didn't say anything, but kissed his lips and opened her mouth. He kissed her back and rolled over on top of her. Shannon ran her hands up his bare chest and then moved her hands back down and toward the top of his pants. He looked at her somewhat in shock.

"What are you doin'?" he repeated. She pulled him back on top of her and then flipped them over so she was on top.

"I don't know why I keep comin' to you Tex," she started. "But I want you."

"Really?" he asked with a smirk. She lowered herself back down on him and they both fumbled with each other's clothing. They both moved quickly and with hardly any emotion, but they both wanted it.

Shannon was laying on his chest. She listened to his heart beating and smiled to herself. His arms were around her but kept still.

"I think I'm falling for you," she whispered.

"You think?" he asked. "Girl, I've already fallen...good thing I found a soft place to land."

She lifted her head up and smiled at him. He leaned up toward her and kissed her lips. He almost believed what he was saying. It was true that he was beginning to have feelings for Shannon, but he wasn't exactly serious when he said he had fallen for her. He just knew all too well what to say to women.

**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW. I know that it's kinda weird haha. I just hope it's good.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I changed the rating for content...I wasn't sure if this would still hold out as a rated T fic, so I had to change it. It's just a little iffy. But please don't let that deter you from going further...it's in no way smut now so don't worry about that.**

The next morning Shannon was still laying next to him, but no longer wrapped in his arms. He looked at her sleeping. She was breathing loudly, but it wasn't quite a snore. He sat up and a small part of him wanted to leave, but instead he brushed his hand across her forehead.

"Mornin' sleepy head."

"Hmphmmh," she mumbled. She began to wake up and the memory of the previous night came flooding back to her. She had crawled into Sawyer's tent...she remembered saying that she was falling for him, and it was even more true this morning as she felt him touch her forehead. She opened her eyes and looked up at him.

"Hi," she smiled.

"So how much is your boyfriend gonna flip out when he sees you coming out of my tent this morning?" he asked quietly. She smacked him on the shoulder, but leaned up and kissed his lips.

"Why are you so mean to me?" she whispered into his mouth. He kissed her softly and laid back down with her.

"Because you love it," he answered. "You love being mad at me."

"That's the problem," she said with a small frown. "I can't stay mad at you. Sawyer...I think I love you, and that scares me so much because I know in an instant you could hurt me and-"

"Shh," he shook his head. He put his finger against her lips, and then moved toward her. "I won't hurt you."

"You don't even know me," she stated. "I feel cheap...I mean we barely know each other and we just-"

"We just had sex," he finished the sentence for her. "It was sex."

"Is that it?" she scoffed. "I tell you that I'm falling in love with you and you tell me that it was just sex. Real nice Sawyer."

She sat up and started getting dressed.

"Hold on sweetheart," he smiled and grabbed her by the wrist.

"No!" she exclaimed. "Leave me alone!"

She quickly pulled her shirt on and left the tent without bothering to put on her pants. She ran down the beach with tears streaming down her face. It was her own stupid fault. She should have stayed away. She shoudn't have crawled into his tent last night. She knew that he wasn't going to love her back...and she knew that it was meaningless.

Sawyer took his time getting dressed. He knew that she was pissed at him. He really wasn't sure what his feelings were about her. The sex wasn't meaningless, but it was still just sex. He had never connected sex with true emotion really. Since he'd never been in love how would he know how to feel or how to react. He decided to let her wait a little longer, but he would eventually go talk to her.

Shannon was sitting on the beach. The tears were falling to the sand at her feet. She took a deep breath and felt someone come up behind her. She hoped it was Sawyer coming to apologize. Instead when she looked up she saw Boone.

"What did that Jackass do to you?" he asked.

"Nothing," she wiped her eyes. "He didn't do anything. He just doesn't love me."

"Did you sleep with him?" he asked in shock.

"It's none of your damn business Junior," Sawyer said coming up behind them. Boone turned toward him and scoffed.

"You son of a bitch!" he exclaimed. He went toward Sawyer. Before Boone could even begin to touch him Sawyer reached back and punched Boone in the nose.

"My mother's dead," he said. "So you can't call her a bitch, you bastard."

Boone looked up at him with his hand clutched to his bleeding and broken nose.

"You might want the doc to take a look at that," he said firmly. He looked over at Shannon who was looking at him. Part of her felt angry that he had broken Boone's nose, but the other part felt sorry for the guy. Sawyer's eyes were shining with tears. For some reason the phrase 'son of a bitch' affected him so much worse when people said it to him, then when he said it to other people. He walked away from Shannon and knew that he blew it with her.

He was sitting at the airplane seats. Kate came up and sat down next to him. She looked at him and let out a small sigh.

"So...you broke Boone's nose?" she asked. "What the hell is your problem? You beat him up a couple weeks ago when you didn't have his sister's medicine...and now you punch him in the face for just talking to her?"

"He was talking about my mother," he mumbled.

"What?" she asked.

"He called me a son of a bitch, and it hit a sore spot," he sighed. "And it doesn't matter anyway because I don't think Shannon is gonna come anywhere near me again so no chance of Boone getting his ass kicked again."

"Sawyer you say 'son of a bitch' more than anyone else I know...don't you think that it could offend someone? It seems to have offended you pretty badly."

"It's been 23 years Freckles," he murmured. "23 years today."

"I'm sorry," she swallowed.

"Well I ain't gonna be a baby about it...leave me alone," he said. He stood up and walked down the beach. Kate watched him leave and shook her head. She did feel remorse for him...she knew how hard it must be, especially since he claimed it was the anniversary of that day. She still thought that he had overreacted. He didn't have to break Boone's nose.

Shannon was laying on her back with her eyes closed. She heard someone grumble as they passed her. She sat up and watched Sawyer walk far down the beach. She could barely see him anymore. She stood up and followed him. When she caught up with him he was sitting in the sand with his hands in his face.

"Sawyer," she whispered cautiously. He gasped slightly, because he hadn't heard her coming up next to her.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"To talk," she sighed. "Sawyer what's going on? What's the matter with you?"

"You mean why did I break your boyfriend's nose?"

"He's not my boyfriend!" she screamed. She lunged toward him and pinned him down. He chuckled and wrapped his legs around her to pin her. She looked down at him and felt her face getting hot.

"Let me go," she squeaked out. He stared up at her and smiled again.

"And what if I don't," he answered. She glared at him and frowned.

"Let go," she repeated.

"Ok," he said. He unlocked his legs from her and looked up at her. She didn't stand up. "You're free to go. That is if you want to go."

"I hate you," she whispered.

"I know," he stated. She bent down and kissed him. She reached her hands up his shirt. He rolled them over and pinned her to the ground. She took a deep breath and shook her head.

"No," she half whimpered. "Don't."

"I hear your words Barbie," he began. "But I'm having a hard time believing you."

"Can you just get off of me and leave me alone?" she asked. He got off of her and she got up. She started down the beach. Sawyer let out a soft breath and hoped she'd come back eventually. At the moment he didn't know exactly what he was feeling. He definitely had an attraction to her. He liked her. She was fun to be with when she wasn't mad at him. He sat where he was and angerly threw a rock into the surf. He walked back down toward his own tent and went inside. He flopped down on the bed and remembered the night before. It wasn't about love, but it was something. It was sweet. He felt someone at the tent flap. He knew it wasn't Shannon. Kate cleared her throat and stepped in with a flirty smile.

"What are you doin' here?" he asked.

"I was wondering," she began. "Do you have a book that I can borrow?"

"You're not much of a book worm Kate," he said with his eyebrows raised. "That really why you're here?"

"No," she chuckled. "I'm here because you should know that Shannon is sitting on the beach crying...because of you."

"Hmm," he began. "What a surprise...a lady is cryin' and it's all my fault."

"She said that you raped her," Kate scoffed. "It's not true is it?"

"No!" he exclaimed. "Are you freaking kidding me? Who was she saying this to?"

"She told Boone, and he's on a war path trying to find you and kill you. I'd watch it."

"Kate," Sawyer said with pleading eyes. "I promise you. I did not do anything to her. I didn't...I mean we did-but she came to my tent...she came here."

"So you had sex, but it wasn't rape?" she asked. "How do you expect me to believe that? From what you told me you're a conning ass."

"Just because I con women out of there money don't mean that I force them to do anything they don't want to. Come on Kate," he scoffed. "You know me."

"What do I know about you?" she asked.

"Well you know that I wore pink, and that I killed a man. That's what you know."

Kate nodded and sat down.

"Ok," she whispered. "I believe you."

"Thanks," he mumbled. "So Boone's gonna kill me huh? I should probably go find him."

"You're gonna go looking for him?" she asked. "Are you crazy?"

"No," he answered. "But apparently _he_ is. He's gonna kill me right? Why not go find him first? Maybe I can beat him to it."

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"You wanna give me a good luck kiss?" he asked with a smirk.

"You're disgusting," she shook her head, but she was smiling. They stood up together and both left the tent. Sawyer walked down the beach toward Shannon, who looked like she had a small smile on her face.

"Hey Freckles," he said. "Can you do me a favor and just wait here for one minute?"

"What are you gonna do?" she asked.

"Just stay here," he stated. "And whatever you do...when I come back don't move."

She stood where she was and watched Sawyer walk over to the smirking Shannon. She was slightly scared he might hit her, but then she pushed the thought from her mind. Sawyer was a jerk and he was belligerent, but he wouldn't ever hit Shannon. Not because of this.

He walked toward her with a mission. He knelt down in front of her and smiled widely.

"I really hope you're happy," he said. "I'm glad that you told everyone that I'm a criminal...because no one believes you."

"Boone does," she smirked.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Boone does...why don't you go crawl in his tent? He'll protect you and I'm sure he's dying to do what we did last night. So if you wanna sit there and smirk over your victory go right ahead, but I'm moving on from you."

He stood back up and walked toward Kate. Kate was almost taken aback by his fast pace toward her.

"Don't move," he mouthed to her. She raised her eyebrows again, still not sure what he was going to do. When he arrived at her he didn't look like he was going to stop. He grabbed her face in his hands and kissed her. She started backing away slightly, but he held her in her place. He backed off from her and winked.

"Thanks Freckles," he whispered.

"Real mature Sawyer," she sighed, but she was smiling.

"Come on," he said leaning into her ear, and making sure that Shannon could still see him. "Like it was mature of Shannon to cry rape? Now...please walk off with me?"

"Fine," she sighed. "Boone might be killing you tonight anyway...I'll give you one moment of happiness."

"Believe me Freckles," he began. "I am not happy...far from it."

His words were almost sinceare. Kate half way believed him, but she still wanted to keep her gaurd up. They walked away from Shannon together. Sawyer put his hand on Kate's lower back and started moving his hand south.

"Don't even think about it," Kate said. As they walked they each saw Boone running toward them at full speed. Kate saw him first and put a hand up.

"Boone wait," Kate began. Before she could say another word Boone rammed into Sawyer's shoulder and he fell to the ground. Kate started to protest.

"Boone!" Kate exclaimed. "He didn't do anything."

"He raped Shannon!" he exclaimed.

"No he didn't," Kate breathed. Boone punched Sawyer hard in the face. He swung a few more times, but missed each time from Sawyer moving out of the way or blocking him with his arms.

"Get off me Metro," he said. "You're gonna get yourself hurt or worse." Boone got one more punch in and stood up. Sawyer's face was bleeding and looked painful. Kate looked down at Sawyer who looked pretty damn pissed. Kate bent down and helped him to his feet.

"Let's go," she sighed.

"Where?" he asked.

"To Jack," she answered. They kept walking, and Kate supported Sawyer's weight as much as she could. She glanced back at Shannon, who didn't look happy anymore.

Kate and Sawyer continued toward the medical tent. Jack was at the beach, which surprised Sawyer somewhat because lately he had been staying at the caves mostly.

"Are you ok?" Kate asked.

"I'm fine," he mumbled. His face hurt, but it was kind of nice having Kate helping him out. He hoped Shannon had seen it and would feel guilty. Kate helped Sawyer sit down and Jack looked at them.

"What happened?" Jack asked. Kate started telling the story before Sawyer put a hand up and stopped her.

"Your buddy Boone is insane," he told Jack. Kate filled in the rest of the story, ignoring Sawyer's tries to stop her.

Jack gave Sawyer some pain killers, and bandaged up his face. Sawyer made his way back to his tent leaving Kate and Jack watching after him. He laid down on his bed and could still smell Shannon on the pillow. He picked it up and threw it toward the opening in the tent. Shannon was making her way into the tent and caught it.

"Hey," she whispered.

"What the hell do you want?" Sawyer asked. "Your damn boyfriend punched in my face."

"You broke his nose," Shannon argued with him.

"Ok," he mumbled. "You wanted Boone to pay me back...and now he did. So now we're even...and Kate can kiss my bruised face all better."

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "But you're not really with Kate are you."

It was as if Kate really was staying in his tent with him she came into the tent with a book and his glasses.

"Here Sawyer," she said quietly. "I thought you might need these."

"Well thanks Freckles, but as long as I got you to keep me entertained I don't need a book," he smirked.

"Are you really staying here Kate?" Shannon asked. Sawyer looked up at her with a smirk, telling her it was her decision whether to keep the game going.

"Yeah," she nodded. "He needs someone to look after him."

"I can do that!" Shannon exclaimed. "Get the hell out."

"Why should I?" Kate asked. "You tell the entire beach about Sawyer hurting you and raping you and it's a complete lie? And then you get your brother-"

"Boyfriend," Sawyer interrupted. "Sorry. Continue."

"You got Boone to beat him up? When he didn't even do anything?" Kate continued. "Did you really want to hurt him...because you didn't have to have Boone punch his face in."

"Well he said that our sex means nothing," Shannon argued. "I didn't mean for this to happen, but you deserved something...I tell you I'm falling in love with you and all you can say is that it was meaningless sex."

"That isn't what I said!" he yelled. "I said that it was just sex...but that doesn't mean it was meaningless. I have a hard time-Freckles you mind?"

"You want me gone?" she asked. She nodded before he gave her a full answer. He looked up at Shannon and sighed.

"I didn't mean that it was _just_ sex. I meant that I didn't feel like it was love."

"But you said last night that you already fell for me," she argued in a whisper and sat down. "Were you just lying?"

"I wasn't lying, but I wasn't telling the truth," he responded. "I just-I feel something for you Shannon. I like you, but I don't think it's love...yet."

"Ok," she sighed. "I'm sorry. And I'm sorry that you got your ass handed to you by Boone."

"See you in the morning Blondie," he smirked, and then winced from the pain.

"Can I stay?" she asked.

"As long as you don't-" he started.

"I won't," she shook her head. "I love you. I love you Sawyer, and that's why it hurt when you didn't say it back."

"Just give me some time," he mumbled.

She curled up on his chest and they fell asleep together.

**A/N: OK so I'm sure that was a little OOC...but it's kind of an OOC story all together. I hope it's still good. There's actually probably only gonna be a couple more chapters...please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

Sawyer and Shannon spent the next 2 weeks with each other. They hardly spent any time apart. Boone had been avoiding them which made them both happy. Sawyer had fallen asleep in the airplane seat. He had been silently reading to himself. He was snoring loudly which made Shannon giggle softly. She stood up from her spot where she was sun bathing. She walked into the tent and searched for her nail polish. She found it quickly and went back out to sit at the airplane seats next to Sawyer. She started painting her own toes and then looked over at Sawyer. His hand was too close for her to pass it up. She painted his fingernails, and then moved over to the other hand. Then she looked down at his barefeet. She smiled at herself and slid off the airplane seat so she could reach his feet better. She started painting his toenails. He stirred a few times which made her mess up, but she fixed it each time. She sat back and admired her handiwork. Kate walked past them and laughed softly. 

"Very nice," she smirked.

"Stay away from him," Shannon spat. "I know you have some weird facination with all the men on this damn island, but you don't have to be a slut."

"What?" she asked. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you flirt with Jack, you make eyes at Sawyer, you go and show off your body to Sayid...next thing we'll all know you'll be stealing Jin away from Sun."

"Screw you!" Kate yelled. At that Sawyer woke up and cleared his throat.

"Jeez Freckles," Sawyer mumbled. "Can't you go squawk somewhere else?"

"I'm warning you," Shannon began again. "Stop flirting with him or we're really gonna have a problem. Just go be with Jack...or even Hurley, but make a decision and stick with it."

"Sawyer's a big boy Shannon, and you can't tell him who to be friends with," Kate said looking from Shannon and then back at Sawyer.

"Friends," Shannon scoffed. "The day you two are just friends is the day there's gonna be a snow storm on this tropical island."

Kate walked off and Sawyer looked after her. Shannon smacked him in the shoulder and scoffed again.

"Don't stare at her ass!" she exclaimed.

"Oh come on Blondie," he chuckled. "Kate is completely harmless. And she doesn't want me."

"She's completely in love with you," Shannon argued. "But it doesn't matter because I won in the end, and I'm not gonna let her steal you from me."

"What makes you think I'm stealable?" he asked with his eyebrows raised. He put his hand against her cheek and noticed that his finger nails were a bright pink color.

"What the hell!" he exclaimed. Shannon smiled widely and shoved at him playfully.

"I'm sorry," she laughed. "I just couldn't resist. You were sleeping like a baby. I wanted to do something funny."

"That's it," he said standing up. "You better run."

She stood up and squealed with a smile. She ran down the beach with Sawyer hot on her trail. He caught up with her and picked her up. He threw her over his shoulder and walked into the water. She started to protest and screamed. He didn't listen and threw her into an oncoming wave. She resurfaced and sputtered. She went toward him.

"I hate you!" she exclaimed, but she was still laughing.

"I know," he said stepping toward her. They were still standing in the water. Shannon wrapped her arms around him and kissed his lips. He picked her up and spun her around.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," he answered. He didn't even mean to say it. It just sort of slipped out, but after he said it, he realized that it was true. She smiled at him and kissed his lips again.

"Really?" she asked.

"Yeah," he replied. "Let's go down the beach where no one can find us."

"OK," she smirked. They walked together hand in hand up the beach. Both of their clothes were dripping wet, but they continued to walk. They walked until Shannon complained that her feet hurt. Sawyer sat down first and pulled Shannon down on to his lap.

"You love me," she said quietly.

"Yeah yeah," he chuckled.

They stayed together for the rest of the day. They went swimming a few more times and Shannon decided they should have a camp out there. They made love more than once. Shannon was tired and slept in Sawyer's arms. Sawyer wasn't sleeping. He wasn't even really that tired. He stayed awake and breathed in Shannon's hair. Even on a desert island where there was no shampoo her hair smelled good. He looked at his own hand and saw the pink nail polish. It must have been cheap nail polish because it was already beginning to flake. He chuckled to himself. He remembered that the raft was sailing in a couple days. He and Shannon had already had about 20 arguements about it. He wanted to go. He already had a spot on the raft. He was going to go. She didn't want him to. She wanted him to stay there with her.

The next morning Shannon and Sawyer walked back to the beach holding hands. Shannon was smiling widely and leaning against him. Jack came walking toward them. He looked exhausted and they both knew something was wrong.

"Shannon," Jack began. "There's something I need to tell you."

"What?" she asked. Sawyer tightend his grip on her hand, preparing for the worst.

"Boone had an accident," he said.

"What kind of accident?" Shannon asked, starting to panic slightly.

"He fell," he continued. "It was bad Shannon. We did everything we could-"

Shannon fell to the ground before Jack could even finish telling her. Sawyer put his hands to his face and moved them over to his neck. He looked over at the other survivors, who were gathered around Kate and Claire. Claire was holding a small bundle, which Sawyer could only guess was the baby.

Shannon was sobbing at his feet. He really didn't know how to react. Jack looked pretty upset too. He also looked sick...pale and weak. Sawyer looked from Shannon to Jack. Jack stomped back up the beach and Kate walked after him. Sawyer dropped to his knees next to Shannon and put a hand on her back. She smacked the hand away. He picked her up and carried her back to their tent. He set her down and opened the flap on his tent. They went inside and laid down. She leaned against him but then sat up.

"I wanna see him," she sniffled.

"Shan," he started.

"No!" she exclaimed. "I want to see him. I need to see him."

"Okay," he whispered. He helped her stand and they walked out of the tent.

"Where is he?" she asked.

"Dunno," he mumbled. He saw Jack and Kate inside Jack's tent. Jack was looking even more sick. He laid down and fell asleep quickly. Kate looked down at him and walked out of the tent. She looked at Sawyer and Shannon and walked toward them.

"Shannon-" she began.

"Where is he?" Shannon asked.

"He's at the caves," Kate whispered. They started walking away and Kate took Sawyer by the arm.  
"I found your stash of alcohol," Kate told him. "We needed it."

"Whatever," he mumbled. "I got more important things to worry about Kate."

She nodded and Sawyer caught up to Shannon who was already to the jungle. They walked in silence into the jungle. They got to the caves which had only a couple people. Sun and Jin, and Hurley. Sun was cleaning up the makeshift medical tent. Boone was laying on the stretcher that Jin had helped assemble. They were going to carry him back to the beach to give him a proper funeral. Shannon began to sob. Sawyer stepped away from her and let her grieve alone. He wasn't sure what to do or say. He looked at her and let out a soft breath.

"Shan," he started.

"Leave me alone," she sobbed. Sawyer backed away. He sat and waited for Shannon to come over to him.

She stood up and started leaving. Sawyer started to follow her and Shannon pulled her arm away hard and scoffed at him.

"Don't touch me!" she exclaimed. "I know that you're just going to leave me!"

"What?" he asked. He touched her face and looked at her softly and shook his head. "What are you talking about?"

"I know you won't stay!" she yelled. "I know you're going on that damn raft! Why do you want to leave me?"

"Sweetheart-" he began.

"Don't!" she shoved him. "Don't call me sweetheart, or barbie, or blondie...don't call me any of your stupid nicknames."

"Shannon," he tried again. "Why do you think I'm gonna leave you?"

"Because!" she exclaimed. "You're going on the raft!"

Shannon walked away from him and back toward the beach. Sawyer sighed to himself and looked at Jin. Jin pointed at Boone's body.

"Beach," Jin said slightly unsure of himself.

"Yeah," Sawyer whispered. He and Jin picked up the stretcher and walked toward the jungle. Sun and Hurley both went ahead of them making sure there was nothing that they could trip over on the way back to the beach. When they got there Sawyer walked down to the water. He knew he should go find Shannon, but he had never been good at comforting people when they were upset. He felt someone coming up behind him and sit down next to him. He saw the curly brown hair before he saw her face.

"What?" he asked.

"Are you mad at me?" Kate asked.

"What the hell are you-" he began. "The world don't revolve around you Kate. Shannon's brother is dead. Boone is dead."

"I know," she whispered.

"So excuse me for not being my old perky self," he scoffed.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" she asked.

"Where's Shannon?" he asked. He looked down the beach and searched for her.

"I think she's in your tent," Kate said softly. "She'll be ok."

"Yeah, well, don't try telling her that," he stated.

He used Kate's shoulder to help himself stand. He squeezed it gently telling her that he wasn't mad at her. He walked into the tent and laid down next to Shannon. She wasn't crying anymore.

"I think they're gonna do the funeral," he whispered.  
"I don't want to go," she shook her head.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "You might regret it if you don't go."

"Fine," she partially scoffed. She stood up and they went to the small graveyard together. Shannon held on to Sawyer's hand tightly. Jack looked at her sadly.

"Do you want to say anything Shannon?" he asked. Shannon shook her head. Sawyer stepped forward slightly.

"I didn't really know much about Boone," he began. "Just that he packed a hell of a punch. And he cared a lot about Shannon. He was a protective brother. He loved her. And I know Shannon cared and loved him too."

Shannon looked at him greatfully and leaned against him. He put a nervous arm around her shoulder. They had a moment of silence and then all hell broke loose. When Locke got back Jack attacked him. Sawyer and Sayid both pulled him off of Locke. Shannon looked at Sawyer and sighed.

"It's his fault!" she yelled. She lunged toward Locke as well. Sawyer quickly caught her around the middle. She struggled against him, but he held his ground and didn't let her go.

"Just go to the damn raft Sawyer and leave me alone!" she yelled at him. He let her go and they walked in opposite directions.

Shannon stayed mad at him for the next 3 days. She didn't talk to him or come near him. Sawyer didn't bother to try because he didn't think there was any point to it.

They were getting the raft ready to launch. As they pushed the raft to the water Sawyer noticed that Kate was looking at him. He thought about what Shannon had said about Kate being in love with him. He definitely wasn't convinced of that, but she was looking at him. He always had a certain tension with Kate, but he was still with Shannon. He loved Shannon. Shannon wasn't helping with the raft. She didn't want to help with the raft.

Later when the raft was actually going to be leaving Sawyer was loading their supplies up on to the raft. He watched everyone hug and kiss each other. No one was bothering to even say good luck to him. He knew if Kate was there she would say something, but she was no where to be found. He looked at Shannon who was sitting on the beach with her knees up to her chest. Walt had given the dog to her to take care of. Shannon was greatful, but she was still pissed that Sawyer was still gonna leave. But she still loved him, and she couldn't let him leave without saying goodbye. She stood up and walked toward the raft as they were pushing it into the water. Sawyer was about to climb up onto the raft.

"Wait!" she exclaimed. He turned around and she jumped into his arms. He sighed softly and held her in his arms.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Please," she began. "Don't leave. Stay here with me."

"I can't," he shook his head. "I need to do this. I'll see you when I see you."

Shannon nodded and pulled him into a kiss. Normally Sawyer wasn't one for public displays of affection, but he kissed her back and then backed away from her. He touched her gently on the nose and smiled at her. She smiled softly too and backed away.

"I hate you," she said softly and frowning.

"I know," he whispered. He touched her face again. "Bye."

"I love you Sawyer," she said. "And I don't fall in love."

"Me neither," he smiled. "I love you too."

**A/N: OK so there's one more chapter after this. I know that it's gone by really quickly. I hope you guys like it and review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: OK...this is the last chapter...sorry.**

Shannon spent the night in the caves with everyone else. Sayid kept her company, but her mind kept wondering back to her sexy hillbilly. She never would have put those two words in the same sentence, let alone say them in the same breath...but he was. He was her sexy hillbilly. The one thing that always made both of them laugh was her telling him that she hated him, and then him agreeing. They said it all the time _I hate you...I know._ And now she wasn't sure whether she should hate him or love him for leaving. She hoped that he would come back for her, but part of her knew that he wouldn't.

As the raft sailed Sawyer was bored. He started reading the notes people wrote. Walt was being irritating but he didn't much care. He opened 4 of them before he found the small neat hand writing.

**_I know, you know, I hate you, but do you know I love you?...come back for me._** He smiled and rolled the small piece of paper up and put it in his pocket. He examined his fingernails which still had hot pink nail polish on them. The polish was almost all gone, but not entirely.

"What are you doing?" Walt asked. "That's not nice."

"This one is addressed to me small fry, now leave me the hell alone." Since he had found Shannon's, he knew he should stop looking, but he didn't. He got to the last one...he realized that Jack and Kate both didn't write a note and was willing to bet that this would be one of theirs. It was a much larger piece of paper than any of the other pieces.

**To the 'heroes'-be safe...don't let Sawyer push you around too much.  
To my father Sam-I love you daddy. I'm sorry if you were ever disappointed.  
To my mom Diane-I'm glad he's dead, but I never meant to hurt you. I love you.  
Sawyer-Be nice.  
Katherine A.**

Sawyer chuckled to himself and put that note in his other back pocket. Walt looked at him like he was crazy.

"What?" he asked. "These both had my name on them...I have every right to own them."

* * *

Shannon was sitting on the beach with Sayid. He was trying his best to comfort her from her loss of Boone, and then having Sawyer leave too. She felt like everyone around her was leaving. Even though Sawyer wasn't dead, everyone thought that he might be. None of them realized that Claire had found the bottle with the messages in it. The sun was high. It had been almost 4 days since the rafters left.

* * *

Kate followed Sun to where the bottle was buried. She sat down and watched Sun dig the bottle out of the sand Sun had just told her about finding the bottle with the messages in it. She hadn't said goodbye. She didn't know if that was a bad thing or not, because if Shannon had anything to say about it Kate would never go near Sawyer again. Kate started taking the messages out of the bottle. She couldn't find the note she wrote. She knew that meant that Sawyer had taken it. She breathed in deeply.

"I didn't say goodbye," she whispered as Sun grabbed her hand and stopped her from reading any more of the notes.

"Sawyer?" Sun asked. Sun knew as well as Shannon did that Kate was beginning to develop deeper feelings for Sawyer than just the general disgust that everyone else felt.

"I'm being stupid," Kate shook her head. "He's taken."

"I don't think he is," Sun answered. "I mean sure he cares a lot about Shannon...and he might even love her, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't have feelings for you too. I think he does."

Kate smiled weakly at Sun and then looked back at the bottle. She stood up and went back to her own tent.

That night as Sawyer was making his way back to the beach with the Tailies, Shannon was spending more time with Sayid. Sayid was going to get them both a bottle of water. They had been spending most of the time talking and getting to know each other. Shannon looked over to her right and saw Walt standing in front of her.

"Walt!" she exclaimed. He said something that Shannon couldn't quite understand...it sounded like he was speaking another language, but at the same time it sounded familiar. When she told Sayid about seeing Walt and he didn't believe her, she decided to spend the night in Sawyer's tent.

The next day it was gloomy. Shannon knew that it was most likely going to storm and rain all day. She hoped that Sawyer was ok. She was sitting on the beach when Sayid came up behind her.

"Leave me alone," she told him.

"Shannon, I am very sorry that I didn't believe you," he began. "If you believe you saw Walt-"

"I did!" she exclaimed. It started to rain. Shannon stood up and made her way into the jungle. Sayid followed her closely. The rain was beginning to fall harder, even with the trees there to slow it down, it was pouring buckets. Shannon stopped dead in her tracks and saw him.

"Do you see him?" Shannon asked Sayid.

"Yes," he said, shocking himself.

"Really?" she asked with a sob. "You're not just saying that?"

"No," he shook his head. "I see him."

Walt disappeared and Shannon ran after him. She somehow got way ahead of Sayid. Sayid figured it was probably because she was smaller and could fit through the trees easier. When he caught up to her he heard the gun fire. He got there just in time to catch Shannon's lifeless body.

* * *

The rain cleared and Kate found Charlie and Hurley playing golf. She decided to join them. They played until Jack came. Then Charlie and Hurley bowed out and decided to let Kate and Jack play alone. While they played Kate forgot how much fun it could be. she had only been a few times, but she enjoyed it. She kept thinking back to Sawyer's comment about a doctor playing golf. She thought it was pretty amusing that Jack wasn't very good. He claimed to be much better than he actually was.

"So did you play a lot in the real world?" Kate asked.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Not as much as some of my colleagues, but I played whenever I could."

"I bet your wife loved that," Kate chuckled. Jack hit the ball into the jungle and Kate laughed out loud. They made their way into the jungle as Kate tormented him over not being able to hit the ball.

"Are you taking lessons with Sawyer?" Jack asked. "You're acting just like him."

"What can I say," she shrugged. "He likes to joke around."

"Well I can take your joking Kate," he began. "But I think Sawyer just likes to be rude."

Kate stayed silent as Jack found the ball. When she saw the large black man coming through the trees with Sawyer draped over his shoulders, her heart jumped out of her chest. She didn't know what to think. He looked dead.

"Where's the doctor?" he asked. Kate let out a breath of relief. If Sawyer needed a doctor that meant that he wasn't dead.

Kate helped Jack take care of Sawyer. Neither of them remembered that they should probably tell Shannon. Kate got out from behind Sawyer after she gave him the pill.

"Kate," Jack started. "We should probably wash his pants. I know it sounds dumb, but they're wet, and it could make the fever worse.

"OK," she whispered. "Lemme-"

"Shannon," he interrupted.

"What?" she asked.

"Shannon," he repeated. "You should let Shannon know. I'll take care of things here."

"Yeah," Kate whispered. "You're right."

Kate went out of the hatch. She walked back to the beach where she found Sayid digging a hole. Hurley was helping. Kate looked at the looks on their faces.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Shannon," Sayid said sadly. He climbed out of the hole and looked at Kate. He told her the whole story starting from when Shannon first saw Walt. Kate could hardly believe what she was hearing. She quickly went back to the hatch to let Jack know what happened. She had no idea what they were going to tell Sawyer once he was awake.

Kate stayed with Sawyer. They ended up burying Shannon while it was still day light, but they were going to wait till Sawyer was awake till they had a memorial.

Kate was walking around the hatch waiting for Sawyer to wake up. She went into the laundry room and found his jeans laying on the dryer. Next to them was 3 pieces of paper. The first was the letter in the envelope. The one that she and Sawyer had already talked about. There were two smaller pieces of paper. Kate picked them up and tried to read them. The one was so damaged that you couldn't read the writing, but Kate could faintly make out the lines of her own name. Sawyer had read her note. She flatened it out in her hand and sighed over at Sawyer who was still sleeping. She looked at the second piece of paper, which was also damaged by the water, she could make out the words just barely.

"I know, you know, I hate you...but do you know I love you, Sawyer?...come back for me," Kate read out loud to herself.

Kate flattened that one out too and hoped it would dry. She felt bad for Shannon, but worse for Sawyer...Sawyer had lost Shannon, and he wasn't even awake enough to know it.

When he woke up and choked her it scared her. She knew that it was Wayne...somehow it was Wayne. That wasn't Sawyer. She came back cautiously and sat down next to the bed. She talked to Wayne, not knowing that Sawyer was really awake the whole time. Sawyer was in nothing but his boxers. Kate handed him his jeans, slightly embarrassed by his appearance.

"Can you help a guy out?" he asked. Kate turned pink as she helped Sawyer into his pants. She let him button and zip them and then sat down next to him on the bunk bed.

"So why isn't Shannon playing my nursemaid?" he asked with a smile. Kate knew that his smile was going to disappear.

"Before we leave the hatch-" she began.

"Oh I get it," he replied. "We got rescued, and Shannon was pissed that I was gone for so long so she's not talking to me."

"Sawyer," she sighed. "Shannon...she's-ok this is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Shannon was hurt. She was shot."

"Shot?" he asked. "But she's ok right. You're takin' care of me cuz the doc's with Shannon right?"

"Stop," she said, her breathing becoming more labored. "Please just-this is really hard for me to tell you Sawyer. She died. She didn't make it."

Sawyer stayed silent and looked almost confused. Kate put a hand on his uninjured shoulder.

"Sawyer I'm so sorry," she whispered. "There wasn't anything Jack would have been able to do."

"When?" he asked. "The day I left?"

"No," she shook her head. "Actually the day you came back."

"Who killed her?" he questioned. "If she was shot, it had to have been someone right? Who was it? Locke? Jack?"

"Ana Lucia," she interrupted his panic.

"Well she's gonna regret ever having met James Ford," he said sternly and stood up. Kate quickly came up next to him and supported him.

"Sawyer you can barely stand," she informed him. "Please sit down before you hurt yourself. "

She helped him sit back down. He looked at her and had a glint of tears in his eyes. She had felt sorry for him before when he told her about his parents, but now she felt worse. She remembered their game of I Never. He told her he had never been in love, but she was pretty sure that that had changed now.

"You loved her," Kate whispered.

"Shut up," he scoffed, and looked at her hard. "Just help me back to the beach and stop talking about Shannon."

"Ok," she nodded. "I'm sorry."

"No," he sighed. "I'm sorry Kate...didn't mean to yell at you. I j-just-yeah Kate. You don't have to say nothin'. I loved her."

Kate helped Sawyer back to the beach. When they got to the graveyard she helped him into a sitting position. He looked up at her and sighed. He reached into his pants pockets for the letter.

"Where the hell is it!" he yelled at her. He grabbed at his shoulder and winced.

"Oh uh," Kate said slightly nervous by Sawyer's behavior. "I took them out of your pants to dry.

"Them?" he asked.

"Well the letter to Sawyer, and then the letters that me and Shannon wrote," she stuttered slightly.

"Did you read them?" he asked.

"Well one of them I wrote," she argued. "And the other one I already knew what it said. I'll go get them for you. I'll be right back."

She left Sawyer and quickly made her way back to the hatch. She bumped into Jack on the way there.

"Kate," he said quietly. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah," she whispered. "I'm so sorry Jack."

"About what?" he asked.

"About leaving Sawyer in the hatch, and about kissing you," she shook her head. "I just-I didn't know what the hell I was doing. "

"It's ok," he said sweetly. "It was a nice kiss...even if you did feel like you were losing your mind."

"I was just-I don't know what it was all about," she sighed. "I gotta get back to the hatch."

"Is Sawyer there alone again?" Jack asked, going directly back into doctor mode.

"No," she answered quickly. "He's at the graveyard. He wanted his letters."

"Oh, the ones that he had in his pants pockets?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"I found them before I put the pants in the washing machine," Jack said. "But after being shot into the water, and having the water from the shower run on them...they were pretty much ruined."

"Yeah I know," she nodded. "But he still wants them."

"One of them said your name on it Kate," Jack told her.

"Did you read them?" she asked, almost accusingly.

"I was just curious," he shrugged. "One of them was from Shannon, and one of them was from you."

"I didn't write him a letter Jack," she said. "I wrote a note for the bottle. I just told him to be nice."

"I don't care Kate," he replied. "You obviously have some feelings for him. I'm not going to tell you who to love."

"I don't love him," she chuckled.

Jack looked at her with a smile, and they both silently went their seperate ways.

Kate came back to the graveyard with the letters and looked for Sawyer. Sawyer wasn't there. Kate looked down the beach for him. He was sitting by himself down the beach. Kate stood up and walked over to him. She handed him the three pieces of paper and then took back the letter she wrote.

"Do you mind if I keep this?" she whispered.

"Can't read it anyway," he shrugged. "I don't care."

She tore off the part of the note that said _Sawyer-be nice_, and handed it to him. He looked at her and nodded. She took the rest of the note and ripped it up. He looked over at her and put the two other pieces of paper in his pocket.

"Do you want me to leave?" she asked. He shook his head and leaned toward her. She backed away slightly.

"What are you doing?" she questioned.

"I don't know," he scoffed at himself, and put his hands to his face. "I don't know. I'm-I-"

"Sawyer," Kate whispered. "It's ok. You're upset. You're grieving. It's allowed."

"She was a great person," Sawyer began. "She may have been misunderstood by a lot of people but she was a really good person. Everyone thinks that she's a spoiled brat...and yeah I guess she was, but she was much more than that. She was a sweetheart. And she really loved me. I haven't done much I'm proud of Freckles, and she loved me anyway."

"I think you're right," Kate nodded. "She was a good person Sawyer. And she definitely loved you a lot. I'm not sure that she had ever been in love before you."

"Dammit," he whispered. Kate could tell that he was beginning to cry. She was sure that's also why he was saying dammit. Kate put her arms around him. She half expected him to push her away, but he didn't. He turned toward her and sniffled. He let himself cry on Kate's shoulder. Then just as suddenly as he started crying, he stopped. He stood up.

"Thanks," he said softly to Kate.

"Of course," Kate nodded. "Anytime James."

"How did you-I said my name earlier," he nodded. "Do you wanna keep that on the down low?"

"What? Your real name?" she asked.

"Yeah that," he replied. "And the fact that I just cried like a baby."

"Sawyer," she shook her head and stood up. "You didn't cry like a baby. You cried like a man who just lost someone who really meant something to you."

"Yeah," he mumbled. He walked up to his own tent. He looked back at her and smiled weakly. Kate smiled back and watched him until he disappeared into his tent.

**THE END**

**A/N: I know...I'm a horrible person for killing Shannon. I just kinda wanted it to be as much the same story as possible, just with if Shannon and Sawyer had been togehter. I hope you guys liked my story. I'm so incredibly excited for the rest of this season. It's my opinion that this season has been the best one yet. Anyway please review!**


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